Libellus ater facilis
You feel pathetic, you feel weak, you feel pitiful, you are not the best. You aren’t even good. Perfect? Of course not. This is a mere dream. But at least you dream. You are not like our light cousins, who also know they aren’t perfect; that they, the human genus, are pathetic, but instead of sweating tears, pain, and blood would rather understand their pain and not conquer it, spread the word and as “shit happens” let it be, let love flow, let forgiveness prosper, and create an unending eternal apocalypse. It appears to me rather Socratic: all I know is that there is no real reason for the pain.
You are dark, you wish to destroy, mutilate; totally devastate this system. You want to beat it. You want to hack the system. You want control, power. Understanding and knowledge which you USE, rather than quench a thirst of ignorance. It isn’t Socratic, it isn’t accepting weakness, it's accepting the calling of your desire, using your faculties to stem more faculties, to stem genius, brilliance, deification and supreme being.
Your disgust of being weak is what fuels you, your fear of not being good enough. And you should be in fear, for you are not good enough! You could be wiped out so easily, you could be destroyed like a mosquito attempting to suck my flesh. You aren’t good enough, and the darkness gives you a reason, a meaning, to overcome the weakness.
The dark side has many dangers. The goal we all aim for has many risks that could destroy oneself. The moth that craves the light would do well to make itself resistant to the heat. For when he strays too close, he will fall down in ruins of his former self. Beware the story of Icarus.
For as you may struggle, you will never be perfectly resistant to darkness. So the better foundation, the better you will be. The dark student does not take the required number of level one courses, followed by the required number of level 2 classes, completing his degree with the required number of level 3 classes. The dark student takes ALL the courses, for to master everything, you will have to do them all eventually. To not be thorough is your own fault. The masters of darkness will not care if you burn yourself. This is not a nursery. You will get your chances, and like the addict you are you should snatch them. Do not get too carried away that you feel you are so good and arrogance chains you down to your seat, to the world of the weak, to the dregs of humankind.
As previously noted, the road to darkness requires sweat and toil. It requires sacrifice of oneself, of one’s time. In training your body will be damaged, in study your mind will be shattered, in general your energy reserves will be demolished. You need to replenish your temple with sacrifices to the self. Do not let them be bad sacrifices. Would Poseidon take sacrifices of calves, of cows? No, he took the choicest and best bulls in sacrifice, the nicest cuts. Did the prophet Dan take the sweet honeys and sweets of his captor? No, he took mere grain.
An important first question: what do you worship? Is it anaemic? Ceoliac? Do you have Crohn’s disease? Understanding and knowledge is a key to the dark side because it allows you to provide sufficient sacrifice. 'Appendix Diaeta' is a source of knowledge in regard to such an endeavor, and is available to be read on the boards; however, if you are involved in a training program or apprenticeship, it is very likely a course will be provided upon such matters.
The first task for a dark apprentice is that which was so for knights of old. Before one proceeds down the path of knighthood, a mandatory night of regret is required to inflict necessary desire for retribution upon oneself. From sunset to sunrise, the apprentice will sit in darkness. From sunset to sunrise the apprentice will sit in silence. From sunset to sunrise the apprentice will sit solitarily. The time is for reflection on your past life. Think about your sins, your life. Have you really given yourself credit so far? Have you really done your best? Is it a good life? If so, why are you upon this path? If you want more, if it wasn’t good enough, you will bathe in pity for yourself for the night, work out why you are pathetic, and why you don’t like it.
The first task requires preparation. You want the darkness to notice you? You want your darkness to notice? Then create a contrast in yourself. Your body needs to be as pure as possible before the ritual, so as to create as big a contrast to allow you to notice. After a lifelong obsession of fueling your body with muck, it is vital that you unclog your system. For 2 weeks before the task you will consume no narcotics or hallucinogens or drugs of any other type but medicinal. You shall not smoke nor shall you drink alcohol. You need not take any foods that shall be hard to digest; no meat is to be consumed, nor cheese.
It is likely over such a period of no meat you may become deficient in Vitamin B12, Iron and Zinc. If you wish not to waste your precious zinc, I would suggest a man does not ejaculate over such a period. Sources of iron include Poppy seeds and leafy vegetables such as cabbage and sprouts (spinach is overrated). Sources of zinc include wholegrain breads (though it is suggested one eats white breads as well). B12 is plentifully found in marmite. Other sources can be found by research upon the internet.
If you experience itchy skin with a tendency of spots and acne upon the skin, it is likely you are deficient in your iron stores. This affects your immune system and you should seek to eat more iron as this is the most important system to get right. If you experience tiredness, again you are probably deficient in iron. If you only experience acne, I would recommend you eat more zinc.
It is suggested the apprentice eats a lot of probiotic food in this fortnight e.g. bio-yoghurts. A side effect of such a diet change for the two weeks will be a lot of flatulence and release of toxic gases, cleaning up the body.
For 4 days before the task, a purely vegan diet is recommended.
The day preceding the task the body should be cleared of as many toxins as possible. No medication is permitted, no sex/masturbation is permitted, and the individual is restricted to eating fruit to detoxify the body, and drinking water. For the night in question mere water is allowed.
After such a task the apprentice should feel motivated to tackle problems in his life. It is likely the root of such problems has emerged to his level of thought. As such so starts the dark apprentice’s journal. At sunrise the echoes within the apprentice's head should be transferred to paper, so now only the imprints of motivation are left behind and the student will not be distracted to despair, but can organize, rearrange and spot new patterns.