My name is Praxus. I am a Sith Knight.

My journey began in 1997, during the birth of the online Jedi community. In the beginning, I was a role-player. At the time, I arrogantly went by the name Master Skywalker in a chat room. It was my arrogance that caught the attention of a Jedi realist who gave me the name of someone who could teach me the ways of the Force. I was, understandably, excited by the idea. I had never before considered, despite being a long-time Star Wars fan, that I could apply the lessons presented in the movies and novels in real life. Thus, my training began.

It was during my training that I came to know of yet another Jedi Master, a friend of my own Master. He told me, despite my training as a Jedi, that I was in the dark, that I was, essentially, a Dark Jedi. This struck me as silly, even ridiculous. I was a Jedi. I knew who and what I was. Or so I thought.

He saw something in me. Something that would not surface for years to come. I spent the next decade in the Jedi Community, building sites, learning, teaching, and going about the things that Jedi do.

After ten years in the Jedi community, I learned about pain.

I spent the last few years of that decade battling depression and anxiety disorders (and still do to this day). It was during that time that I was in a car accident, struck by a tractor trailer. I spent months in the hospital, recovering. I experienced pain beyond what I had ever understood, both physical and emotional. It truly is a miracle that I am even alive, let alone capable of typing these words and telling my story. My survival meant to me that I had a purpose in life, that I was meant to do something important. Otherwise, why would I be alive?

As grateful as I am for my life being spared, my experiences during and after my days spent in the hospital showed me the darkness inside me that the Jedi Master had seen in me years prior. My despair led to anger, anger to hate. Hate made me consider whether or not I was fit to be a Jedi anymore. In time, I decided I was not, and ventured into lands I had been warned for years to avoid, into the darkness, into Sith territory.

It was at the Order of the Sith that I found my calling. I realized that if I were to join the Sith, I should choose a new name. I happened to find out what the possible names were for Jacen Solo for the Legacy of the Force series of novels, one of them being "Paxis". I decided to use that and add an "r". I later found out that the word "praxis" means "the practical application or exercise of a branch of learning". It seemed fitting. I was looking for something practical, something I could use, something that would set me free.

I began my contribution to the Sith by sharing my strong convictions about the lessons presented in the book Traitor. I was at first accused of being obsessed with the idea of pain because of all the references to it in the book. The only person that came to my defense was Darth Draconis. He would later become my Master.

I see the Sith ways as a path to freedom. Freedom from obligation and expectation. As a Sith, you are free to do as you please, say what you want, believe what you want. The Jedi, despite most claiming to be open-minded, have restrictions. Most of them are unspoken, but they are there nonetheless.

I do not claim that the ways of the Sith are superior to the Jedi's. It just simply happens to be that I am better suited for it.

In the following, you will find a few thoughts I've written, some concepts that have been important to me as a Sith.

The Ways of the Sith

The ways of the Sith are far too often seen as evil. The Sith are not evil. People are evil, and they are drawn to the power that the dark side provides. Many Sith, such as myself, are relatively peaceful people. We have hopes and goals just like the Jedi; however, ours are aimed at achieving freedom, while the Jedi continually place themselves in bondage.

The Jedi are forever imprisoned by their beliefs. The goal of the Jedi is to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others, to follow a path of self-destruction to save those around them. The goal of the Sith is to survive. The knowledge we acquire is precious and must be passed on to the next generation.

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Pain must be embraced. Ordinary people shy away from pain. They use any method they can to avoid it. The Sith must accept pain and discomfort, for doing so makes us stronger. This is not to say that one should seek pain or intentionally hurt oneself, but rather to learn to live with the pain that comes with being alive.

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It is often the state of mind of an apprentice to only want to develop powers, but it is the master that understands that wisdom is true power.

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Liberation is the ultimate goal of the Sith. Unlike the Jedi, who are expected to be perfect in every way, the Sith have no such obligation. Freedom from the desire to be everything to everyone eliminates the fear of failure. Fear itself is eliminated when you start to be who you are.