Imaginary Obligations

There are obligations that would seem to come with achievement or success. People look at your position, or look at what you’ve done, and they have their own expectations of what you ought to be doing. Those obligations are, more often than not, in the eyes of others though. The way it becomes a chain is in allowing the visions of others to overwhelm and choke out yours. Attempting to make everyone happy isn’t what I’d recommend, in fact pissing everybody off feels like a better alternative.

Trying to please everyone dilutes the actions and decisions one might take, but anger – among other elements - can put pressure on them; solidity, focus, form, and ultimately one's vision begins to take shape. I don’t think twisting everyone's panties into a bunch is necessarily the most desirable course to take, at least not all the time; but if one must pick between the two it’s classic Machiavelli, it’s better to be feared (or hated, or despised, in this instance) than loved, if you cannot be both.

Having said that, it pays to be mindful of such imaginary obligations. In being mindful, the things others would have you live up to become quite the opposite of what they would be for a fool with no awareness or understanding of them. Accounting for them becomes an option; to take it further though, you can use knowledge of ’em to exploit them. Synthesize what you have to work with in the minds of others and what your ambitions are. Experiment, do things to observe and understand the interactions and friction that comes about in enacting your will on an environment.

An individual unaware of the expectations others might try to place on him or her - in certain positions or following certain accomplishments - is at risk of being chained by them. It is through this lack of mindfulness that the imaginary obligations demanded of a person can become all too real. A form of bondage (and not the good kind). I could point out that awareness and use of them might also restrict the flourishing of one's vision, but the advice I’d give for that is simple, straightforward, obvious… be subtle and insidious.

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