The Dynamics of Self Loathing
The acolyte begins his journey being mostly clueless about himself and his role in the world. Upon entering the Dark Path, he is likely to have a vague idea of the results he wishes to achieve and of the person he wants to become. Let's call this vague notion of the desired self the idealized self. This idealized self has been built upon past experience, feedback from the environment and a good number of role models from different sources (the media, influential people around him, etc). These patterns of conduct will often be in contradiction with each other.
The acolyte begins to walk the path, and an extra toil is burdened on his shoulders. He has a limited amount of energy, and besides minding his daily drudges he has to expend a considerable chunk of his reservoir in doing what we do here. It will come a time when he will find himself spent, and either his mundane responsibilities or his training will suffer from that.
At this point he comes to see that extra energy is needed to accomplish his goals, and to walk the path with grace. Anger, hatred and fear provide a neat source of seemingly endless energy, and so he will consciously or not devise techniques to exploit these sources. He will meditate on past affronts, untomb old grudges and focus on the most negative aspects of humankind and life. This will provide him with enough power to walk the path with an extra amount of boldness.
As he progresses, he will inevitably come closer to his true self. This self will be in most cases very different from the idealized self that he had in mind when the path was first taken. He will come to see this as a failure and a weakness, and will therefore focus on training more intently. The extra energy reaped from meditation and emotional alchemy is not enough, and his day to day life will suffer from his focus. This will cause social isolation.
Distancing himself further from his idealized self with every step down the alley of darkness, he comes to need more energy on which to draw. The internal sources are not enough, and so he seeks them on the outside. Confrontation and conflict are employed as a means to generate the emotional energy needed for the extra training. This confrontational, hostile attitude will further isolate the individual and cause great losses in friends, allies and opportunities. This will add insult to the injury, and paired with the distance between his true self, which he is deep down closer to daily, and the idealized self which he still clings to, will lead to more passion. At this stage, reason is totally left out of the equation. The acolyte becomes a warrior of the dark side.
In this dangerous situation, the warrior will have plenty of sources to draw energy upon: the constant fighting is making his life more dangerous every day, affronts and insults pile up as he opposes everything and everyone. Life seems bleak, the world dangerous. Mild depression is likely. The warrior will come to a point where this anger is not enough, for the anxiety and discomfort this way of life is causing him take a huge toll in the form of emotional energy. Conflict has proven dangerous, and the warrior has understood that he has to be careful in the use of the sword, so it can no longer be used at will.
He will then come to a realization, he has a source of anger available that never leaves his side: himself. Self-loathing will at first be used timidly, by merely admonishing himself when he does not match his expectations. This, as he discloses his true self, will happen more and more often. Self-loathing will continue growing, in an abhorrent cycle of action-reaction.
Even though he is closer to his true self, his action will become more extreme, more in opposition to his true values. This will allow him to generate huge amounts of self-loathing, permitting him to be angry as often as he perceives is needed. It is likely that, at this point, the warrior has become a social outcast.
It is at this point that the True Sith makes or breaks. If the warrior is strong enough to accept that he has been wrong, and to embrace his true nature, he will find that he does not need as much emotional energy as he believed. Indeed, the war he was waging against himself was leeching much of the energy that was generated by his self-defeating deeds. When unity of purpose and command are internally achieved, all available energy is put to good use, not being constantly sapped by self doubt and fear.
If he lacks the aforementioned strength, he will go down in an endless spiral of self-loathing and evil. It is likely that in the end, either society or himself put an end to this madness, be it in the form of social isolation, imprisonment or suicide.
It is often said that the dark side destroys the weak and empowers the strong. As can be seen, both the strong and the weak face similar challenges, and walk similar paths. It is in the end, when the truth about the self finally emerges, when the decision that is made sets the one apart from the other.